The Obstacle is the way — Ryan Holiday
- Three things determine success in your life.
- Perception: The way you look at things (Perception is everything!)
- Action: The way you respond to things (Do you get negative/angry/complain or just see things as the way they are and respond with the correct action)
- Composure: How composed you were despite the situations
- Whatever is the obstacle, eventually becomes the way, whatever impedes progress, eventually aids progress
- See things as they really are, minus all the fluff! Stop building unnecessary stories around what things actually are!
“This has happened! Its bad!” — There are two different things here!
1. “This has happened” is Objective. That has already happened and can’t be changed.
2. “Its bad” is Subjective. This is how you internally feel or have a perspective on. And this can be changed to suit you better. This has happened is “external”. “Its bad” is internal. The one who recognizes the “Difference” between external and internal has a great chance to be successful in life.
A great quote:
“Don’t look for angels! Look for angles!”
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
- Three types of Parenting styles and their consequences
- Helicopter Parents
- Fixes every situation for the child
- Is constantly hovering over the child and acting on behalf of the child
- This makes the child feel she/he is not good enough
- And she/he carries forward this thought into adulthood and is unable to make any decisions
- This adult becomes a follower and mostly follows others and does what he is told to do as opposed to being his individual self
2. Drill Sergeant Parents
- Do as I told you to do — parents
- The child is scared to do anything as she/he maybe on the wrong side of their parents expectations and invite their parents wrath
- Such children sometimes grow up to be angry and rebellious teens.
- They always look for approval from others in their adulthood
3. Love and Logic Parents
- It means providing choices to the child and always asking questions
- No sarcastic or angry questions. Pure thoughtful questions
- Don’t make you child’s problem as your problem
- Let the child face the consequences (not lethal/injury causing) of their actions and decisions
- Always offer choices to your child that are acceptable to you. i.e both the options to choose from, are acceptable to you
- In this way, the child becomes capable enough to take their decisions as they grow up and there is always this inner voice which hopefully prevents them from the various temptations that are available today
- Follow the V model of parenting. i.e At birth and early years give lesser privileges and grow them as they grow up.
- Conversely, the inverted V model is a bad model of parenting. Giving children a huge amount of privileges very early in their lives and whittling it down to lesser and lesser as they grow makes them angry and frustrated
